This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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