You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
