Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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