Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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