Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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