she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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