dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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