If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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