That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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