Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
