omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
