Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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