So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
