so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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