Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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