Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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