i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
