All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
