Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Did I show you my penis last night?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He shit in the fireplace
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
