is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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