Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
