I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
