I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it