i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm experimenting with sincerity