using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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