Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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