it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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