if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
