It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
