the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
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She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
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He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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