i jhust puked up my retainher.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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