hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I've blown a few things in my day
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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