Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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