Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
