last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
