if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
We got so high we made milksteak
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
