Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
