if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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