After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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