He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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