Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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