I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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