she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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