Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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