The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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