that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
