Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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