Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
