Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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