Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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