I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
