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• (641): View more from Iowa

  she has no idea who harrison ford is.

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.

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• (831): View more from California

  I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0

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• (425): View more from Washington

  She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap

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