hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
