We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
