i think my mom watched the whole time
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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