You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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