if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Someone shattered a urinal.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Verdict: uncircumcised.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
