Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
