You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
