She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I party with great urgency now.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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