i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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