my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
