last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
