I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
There r osticjed everywhere
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
