My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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